With knowledge of the impending asteroid buzzing by Earth next Friday, some students have been inquiring if they can take Friday, February 15 off before the Monday, February 18 Winter Break holiday.
"It's not that I don't want to attend classes, because I do exhibit a lively love of lifetime learning," offered one seemingly anxious student. "It's more that, if the asteroid makes impact, it's curtains, you know, and I have a couple of things I want to, like, do before, you know, well..."
"Students are expected to complete all homework the day before it is due, thoroughly, completely, to the best of their ability, as per usual," offered an administrator. "If classes should be canceled before any asteroid impact, please tune in to the local news for school closings."